Be yourself (no, really)

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Before you chuck anything at the computer, we understand: you’ve spent your entire life being told to “be yourself” among ladies. And if you’re reading this, chances are “being yourself” hasn’t sufficed.

Yet what the advice to “be yourself” truly means is that you shouldn’t try to become someone else only to impress a woman. Don’t try to force yourself to be comic if you’re not naturally humorous. And if you’re naturally shy, don’t try to convince her you’re some kind of fierce rebel.

Instead, approach her in the same way you would a friend, classmate, or colleague. Our suggestions above can help you start and maintain a conversation, but they do not require you to pretend to be someone else.

If nothing else, once the relationship takes off, you’ll be grateful for the “be yourself” advice. After all, who wants to spend months, years, or even a lifetime pretending to be someone else?

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